Coaching Over Critique: A Challenge to Leaders

As a leader, I've learned that influence is always at play. Whether we realize it or not, our words and actions shape the environment around us. One of the clearest indicators of how we lead is how we respond when someone on our team falls short—not just in obvious mistakes, but in the everyday moments when expectations aren’t met or things get messy.

Bad leaders critique to control. Good leaders coach to inspire growth.

I’ve seen both sides of this. I’ve been led by people who used words as weapons to reassert control—embarrassment disguised as “feedback,” or discipline that shut down initiative instead of encouraging growth.

There’s a big difference between constructive feedback and criticism. And if I’m honest, I’ve caught myself in moments where I had to re-evaluate my own response. Why?

Because control feels easier in the moment. It’s quick. It puts us back in the driver’s seat. But it also stifles potential.

Coaching is an investment of time, trust, and talent - one that unlocks growth, builds confidence, and creates lasting impact.

What I've come to understand, and what I try to impart on leaders I work with, is that leadership isn't about control. It's about cultivation. It's about building something that lasts, and that kind of leadership requires more than correction. It requires coaching.

Critique may earn you compliance, but coaching builds trust. When you rush to discipline or shame, you create a culture of fear and silence. People stop raising their hands, stop offering ideas, and start making themselves small. Over time, your team shrinks, not always in numbers, but in creativity, ownership, and influence.

But coaching? Coaching keeps the door open. It sounds like, "Walk me through what happened." It asks, "What did you learn?" It creates a bridge between the behavior and the person's growth. That doesn't mean we lower standards or ignore impact. Coaching-centered leadership requires accountability (on both sides). But it also requires curiosity. We don't jump straight to conclusions or punishment.

We pause long enough to ask if we've created the environment where people can realistically succeed. And I want to be clear...I don't believe we should continue to reward or tolerate behaviors that erode team culture or affect outcomes. I've had to make tough decisions, and so will you. But the difference is this: you've got to try. You've got to coach. You've got to reflect on what part of this you own, and whether the person in front of you has been set up for success, or if you've asked them to fly blind and then punished them for crashing.

And sometimes the truth is: the mistake isn't in the person. It's in the system. So many repeated performance issues aren't about "bad employees," they are about broken communication, unclear expectations, and gaps in the way we operate. And the only way to uncover that is to slow down and look.

Ask yourself:

• Have I clearly laid out expectations and what success looks like?

• Have I provided the tools, time, and space for this person to grow?

• Have I built systems that support clarity and accountability, or just defaulted to reaction mode?

• Have I assessed performance and course-corrected when necessary?

  
  

Leadership starts with ownership.

Leadership isn’t about expecting perfection—it’s about guiding growth. And true growth happens when people are free to make mistakes, learn from them, and are supported through coaching to reach their potential. Sometimes, that full potential may not align with your team or their current role. But you won’t know that unless you try. Unless you lead well. Unless you coach.

So, here is my challenge to you: The next time something goes wrong, pause before you punish. Choose to coach. Look at your systems. Look in the mirror. And ask yourself what kind of leader you want to be and what kind of culture you are building with every response you give.

And don't make the mistake of thinking this only applies to formal leadership roles. Leadership is influence, and influence shows up in every space where people interact. Whether you're leading a team, raising a family, mentoring a peer, or just trying to be more intentional in your relationships, how you show up matters. The choice to coach instead of control can shape conversations at work, at home, and everywhere in between. Because leadership isn't limited to the office. It lives in our words, our tone, and our willingness to

grow, both personally and professionally. Every interaction is a chance to choose influence. Every response is a chance to lead.